Me and My Rumen

I woke up dis morning to find dt lightning nd thunder has changed location to reside in my very inside, for what shall it profit a girl to gain 50g nd lose 3kg,people of God dis bae is tired,to think it was just last week dt I was celebrating my newly found 2kg to complement my 48kg body weight I add before only to be mourning d loss of my precious 3kg barely a week after ehn,ontop wat sef,wat af I done dt human pipu afnor done before.....
Ok dis is wat happened o,yesterdae as I was coming home one of my well wishers gifted me a bottle of soft drink nd I tot it would go well with my ginger noodles at night but as fate would av it I mistakenly ate it with H2o cos I was distracted with d movie I was seeing o,so much later I had a phone conversation dt seemed like d vintage midnight call with a friend nd ended d call past midnight.
Now there's something about talking too much dt empties ur reserve nd so I wasn't able to sleep, a hungry man is a restless man, so I thought of getting a kinkini something to calm my worms nd just den I saw d pandora's bottle sitting pretty. I looked at it, it looked at me nd I felt 'hell,why not' I think I shouldn't av added d 'hell part cos dts wat I went through,man! I dunno wat I av done to humans, I am only allowed to eat d littlest amount of their food,anytime pride wants to enter me to pass boundary i'm humbled intoto,I've always suspected dt I Dnt av d stomach humans have, perhaps am a special breed,well maybe I should start eating grass......

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